A Divine Comedy
by TigerTigrez
Summary: Orochi's evil laughter could be heard as far as heaven by the goddess Athena. It is up to her to stop his destructive plans with what he hates the most: love.
1. Prologue

Orochi was becoming increasingly bored as time went on. For thousands of years he had been peering through the greater hells to view the events taking place on earth. Every single time, on certain days, he would see something that made him sick to no end. Valentine's Day, Christmas, etc. He saw people smiling and giving each other gifts. He saw people laughing together, and love was in the air on special days. He hated it, he hated this feeling that he saw and could not comprehend. He hated every aspect of it: from the promises he heard to the sweet nothings whispered into an ear. It made him so very angry.

"WHAT IS THIS!? LOOK AT THEM WITH THEIR WORDS AND THEIR SMILES AND THEIR PROMISES! I HATE IT, I HATE IT ALL. HOW DARE THESE HUMANS MOCK ME?"

And so Orochi slumped on his bone throne, and he pondered for a long time as to how he might solve this situation. He thought, and thought, and thought, until a devilish and wonderful idea occurred to him. It was so wonderfully awful that he smiled in delight. A wonderful, wretched smile.

"I know. Let this world end now; it matters not to me. I'll send my own emissary of suffering and pain to destroy the world. He will search for the scroll of fates and burn it to the ground, and then the world will finally be destroyed. Yes, what a wonderful Idea."

Orochi loved this idea so much, much more so since he had created it all by himself. He cackled, and laughed and laughed, filling the underworld with echoes of his hideous amusement.

From her hammock in heaven, Athena was lounging about and being lazy as ever. She was the true goddess of laziness if there ever was one. She heard cackling coming from below her, she sighed. It was Orochi up to no good again, and when he was up to no good it meant that she had less time for being lazy and doing nothing. She hated when her lazy time was being cut into. Without investigating she knew what he was up to: he was going to attempt to destroy the world again. He never succeeded, since his plans were always so needlessly convoluted and complicated that they destroyed himself under the weight of their own machinations. She often pitied him. He was so lonely and angry all the time that he had no friends. However, she was too lazy to even be friends with him. It was just not worth the effort. She already knew of his plans, since she was the mother of all things psychic.

"That putz, I guess I'll just send my own emissary made in my image to stop his emissary. Better yet, ill piss him off by using the very weapon he hates so very much. If I plan things right, my emissary of truth and justice will meet his emissary of pain and suffering, AND THEY'LL FALL IN LOVE!"

She rubbed her cheeks in excitement and squealed in joy.

"Oh, this IS PERFECT! I just finished catching up on all my dramas. Now I'll be able to make my very own! And unlike that drama that left me sorely disappointed, this will make for a far better show! I'll make a light in his darkness!"

With that, she took one of the stars from the heavens and sent it crashing down to earth. It landed on earth without wreaking havoc, just as Orochi's snake popped up from under the ground. The stage was set, and now all she had to do was to just sit back and watch the drama unfold. She already had her popcorn ready in hand.


	2. Present Day

Iori Yagami had just turned twenty one years of age and was walking in the park all by himself. He had loathed everything and everyone around him, just like his creator had imbued him with. He hated people so much that he was usually mute and refused to interact with people unless absolutely necessary. However, unusually, he acted very cordial and with the utmost air of a gentleman when in public. His reasoning was that people were so hated by him, that he decided that acting better than them was the only way to go. He liked to take walks in the park early in the morning so that no one else was there, besides the early morning joggers. He took his usual path, hating the birds and squirrels that ambled in the wilderness. He hated the bushes, the trees, the flowers with their painted petals, especially the butterflies that fluttered in the wind. It could be said that he had hated even existing, but there was one thing that he could not and would not hate. Cats, any sort of cat would do. He loved cats. He loved big cats, small cats, skinny cats, fat cats, short cats, and tall cats. He loved black cats, brown cats, white cats, grey cats, and orange cats. He loved every cat, no matter what they were. In fact, he had two cats at home. One named Xianghua, and one named Paul.

However, there were no cats here in the park. Not even strays, which left him sorely disappointed. He was so disappointed that he had opted to go to King's bar and drink his sorrows away. He usually got drunk in order to forget his pain at not seeing a cat. No one knew why he was prone to heavy bouts of drinking, but this was going to be one of those days.

He went King's Bar, unannounced and ordered the usual. Ten shots of vodka, and he sat at a booth all to himself. King's waitress served him his ten shots and walked away. She had tried to make small talk with Iori, but it was never to any use. She usually had responses in the form of grunts and nods. This left her disappointed. Iori was very handsome to boot with a feminine quality to go along with his bad boy charm. She had wanted to get his number but her flirting got her nowhere.

Iori began downing his shots, one shot for every species and type of cat he could name.

This was good practice for him, he loved to memorize every type of cat. He was so well versed in cat knowledge that he knew exactly how to raise and treat each cat, and exactly what to expect in temperaments. It was said, that there was nothing he did not know when it came to cats. He was on his final shot when he spotted someone walking through the doors. He glanced over and time seemed to stop. What he saw would stay imprinted in his conscious forever.

He saw a girl walk in with hair flowing, colored a deep purple and looking as if she had come out of a painting herself. She had a beautiful face, more beautiful in his eyes than he had ever seen before. She had a cute button nose, and eyes that was the most prized of amethysts. She had a hair band that was red, and was accented with a single golden star on the right of her head. She had a purple necklace that was made of crystal orbs. In short, her beauty reminded him of the moon goddess, Chang-e. She looked celestial in nature. She was even carrying a small white Munchkin kitten in her arms, which already sealed the deal in his heart. Just then, he heard a wicked voice drone in his head.

"There any reason why you completely forgot your purpose for all these years? The scrolls ain't gonna find themselves. Who's that? WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH A MUNCHKIN? A MUNCHKIN? MUNCHKIIIIIIIN!" The voice screamed in Iori's head.

The alcohol was taking effect on Iori, allowing him to Ignore Orochi without being bothered too much. Iori's focus was completely on the cat, but the woman didn't seem aware that she was being stared at. She sat at a table with some friends and made small talk. The group of young women fawned over her new cat. Hinako, Kasumi, Mai, and Yuri were all eyes on this fluffy kitten. It had seemed that in that moment, they had forgotten all about the world around them.

"He's so precious! Where did you find him?" Hinako squealed as she pet the Munchkin's head.

"Oh, I could just dunk him in my coffee!" Mai said.

"He's not even grown up, and yet I don't ever want him to come back as anything other than a baby!" Kasumi said.

"Not fair, I can't even afford a pet!" Yuri sulked. Iit was as if everyone was spiting her on purpose.

"Oh, you guys. I found this poor little ball of fluff all by his lonesome," Athena said, while holding the kitten tighter. The cat was meowing and looking at everyone with its green eyes.

"What do you mean you found him? You didn't just buy him from the pet store?" Kasumi reasoned.

"No, not at all. I was walking along the neighborhood in the rain, and I looked up from under my umbrella because I heard something. I thought it was my imagination at first, but I heard it so clearly amongst the raindrops pouring. I looked up and I saw it, a brown box under a streetlamp. This poor kitten was left all by himself in the rain. He was shivering when I picked him up, so I decided to take him home with me. After cleaning him up, he looked so fluffy and cute!" Athena said as she passed the Munchkin over to Hinako.

Hinako raised the small kitten to her face so she could look straight at it. The Munchkin was flailing its tiny limbs attempting to find footing while being held in the air.

"He's so tiny, it looks like he could get lost in a laundry hamper if he wanted to," Hinako mused, while nuzzling the kitten.

A sudden voice intruded on their private conversation. A voice that was deep and smooth.

"You need to be more careful a breed of that size. Munchkins are incredibly prone to fractures and hypothermia, as well as joint problems due to their small statures. Handling it like that can be reckless, you can give it bruises or pull something when you really never meant to," Iori was standing before them, speaking calmly about the Munchkin breed that Hinako was so busy cuddling.

The group of girls were surprised that out of all the possible people in the world to join the conversation, it had to be Iori Yagami. They just stared at him, except Athena who was happy to have advice given. Truth be told, she had never raised a cat before. Not that this small detail was going to stop her in trying to care for the kitten as best as she could.

"Oh, thank you very much Iori! I didn't know that raising cats was such big ordeal," Athena said while smiling. Iori gently took the cat from Hinako's arms, who was too shy to protest.

"Usually, the standard cat breeds aren't very hard to raise at all. Calicos, Balinese, Wire hairs. They are all very robust pedigrees and are mostly self-sufficient. They come and go as they please. However, Munchkins are an entirely different story, and it seemed to have been by pure chance that you ended up with one of the most difficult breeds to properly care for. Even in an appropriate environment, this breed needs the utmost vigilance." Iori said while stroking the kitten. The kitten was meowing and enjoying the attention.

"Is there any reason why there is so much work that goes into raising that cat?" Kasumi asked curiously.

"Munchkins are still cats, and though this breed was bred specifically to have a more controlled species, the breeding only ended up making things worse for this type. Munchkins are still cats and will everything that naturally comes to a cat. However, due to their short limbs, they often fail and struggle with things most cats find second nature. Climbing, swimming, even walking, which result in joint problems over time. Coupled with a curious temperament, lack of attention can cause them to wander and get themselves hurt," Iori instructed. He gently placed the cat on the table, allowing Athena to pick the kitten up into her arms again.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to be so knowledgeable about cats," Mai said while looking at Iori. In all honesty, she wasn't weirded out by it. She found it pleasant, even cute.

"Cats are… something that I specialize in. You could say. Taking care of cats is no small laughing matter, and oftentimes cats suffer in silence from owners who buy breeds, not knowing what care is needed for that specific type," Iori said.

With that said, Iori began to walk off, but he stopped in his tracks as a voice called out to him.

"Wait. You're better than this than I am, I can see that very well. I don't want to end up hurting this baby accidently, can you please help me take care of him?" Athena called out to him.

Iori answered, keeping his back turned to her. "Fine."

Athena smiled, and looked at the crescent moon on his back. "Ok. Come over my place! I'll text you my address on Line! Ok!" Athena was happy. She couldn't wait to make this kitten happy.

Iori left without giving an answer, leaving the group of girls just as stunned as they were when he first joined the conversation. However, without looking at each other the girls all knew what to do. It was as if they had planned this beforehand.

"Ooooooooooohhhhh!" Mai, Kasumi, Yuri, and Hinako all cooed at Athena. Athena was confused and looked around to the faces of her friends. The kitten was also looking around.


	3. The Yuki Connection

"What is it? Was it something I said?" Athena asked, looking at everyone with wide eyes.

"I didn't know you two were a thing!" Mai said while hiding to hide her mouth behind a hand, she was being playful.

"Wait, what? A thing? What thing?" Athena said as she held the kitten closer to her.

"Oh, you don't need to be shy with us Athena. Opposites do tend to attract very heavily," Hinako reasoned.

"This is SOOOO not my OTP!" Yuri sulked, crying about her loss of her OTP and being poor in general.

"To be honest with you, I saw this coming from a mile away. Especially with the way you kept eyeing him when you first met him," Kasumi said as a matter of fact.

Athena was flustered, her cheeks red. "That's not true at all! I never met him before and I wanted to get to know him better!" Athena stuttered.

"Uh huh, like anyone hasn't heard that a million times," Hinako said while snickering.

"You know though, this is just the love story we've all been dying to hear. Come on now honey, pray tell, and please inform us of your fated love with him. How did you meet him? Was it all of a sudden, swept away by the winds of passion? Or was it romantic, under a candle lit dinner?" Mai said while looking at Athena.

"No no, it's nothing like that. I've never talked to him before at all!" Athena said, hugging her munchkin cat.

"Keeping it a secret affair? So scandalous of you! I don't blame you though. What was that you said? Idols can't be involved in a scandal?" Hinako said, mimicking Athena's voice.

"No, no, no, no, no! There's nothing between us. Not even in secret!" Athena pouted.

"Then what was all that about giving him your address on Line? Doesn't he know where you already live if you two are together?" Mai asked.

"I think Friend Athena is telling the truth. Why would she give him her address if they are already a thing, that doesn't add up to begin with? However I'm having a hard time believing Friend Athena, since she implied that she has his number," Kasumi said.

Athena frantically scrolled through her contacts. It was after a while of searching that she realized something. She didn't actually have his contact info.

"Oh… I was so sure of it. I…I don't have his number at all," Athena said while blinking a few times.

"So, then that begs the question. How exactly are you going to contact him? He's not a social butterfly, if you haven't noticed," Mai asked.

"MY OTP STILL LIVES!" Yuri yelled aloud, clutching her hands to her heart and smiled.

"Friend Athena, it seems that you have run into an impasse. None of us are friends with him, so then how exactly do you wish to communicate with him?" Kasumi mused.

Another voice, a very soft and feminine one made them snap out of their current conversation.

"Oh, pardon me, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation! It's no problem really, Athena here, just copy Iori's number from my cell phone!" Yuki said happily as she took a seat next to Athena. Yuki's comment made every one jeer at her, except Athena.

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" Hinako, Yuri, Kasumi, and Mai teased. This time it was Yuki's turn to look around confused. She handed her cell phone over to Athena, who was staring at her in surprise.

"What is it? Was it something I said?" Yuki asked, naively.

"Friend Athena, it seems that Friend Yuki wants to engage in a friendly competition with you," Kasumi said. She was grinning mischievously.

"Ok, now this is definitely getting scandalous. Athena, you were right to keep everything a secret," Mai said, hiding her face behind a hand, this time in genuine concern.

"Yuki, in all seriousness you were the last person we expected to be a thing with Iori. Especially since you have Kyo. I have to hand it to you though, I'm impressed. You are very ambitious!" Hinako complimented.

"I don't understand what is going on!" Yuki exclaimed.

"Honey, you can drop the act now. You and Athena aren't exactly award winning actresses, you know," Mai teased.

"How exactly did you meet him, and get his number?" Athena asked, copying Iori's contact info onto her own phone.

"Oh, he helped me raise a kitten. I found the small thing in a park and was in the middle of petting it when he appeared. He gave me great advice on raising a Calico. He came over and we had so much fun raising the small thing. I have never seen such a happier kitten," Yuki said while smiling.

"NONE OF YOU ARE MY OTP!" Yuri yelled while sobbing into her hands.

"Oh my. This just keeps getting better and better! What a wonderful little drama we have going on. We even have front row seats to everything!" Mai was ecstatic.

"Friend Athena, Friend Yuki seems to have prior experience with Iori. Perhaps asking her about Iori's preferences will help you on your meeting with him," Kasumi suggested.

"WHY CAN'T YOU COWARDS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS OTP! IT'S THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE!" Yuri cried.

"Yuki, what exactly does Iori like? How is he?" Athena asked curiously. She was eager for any information.

"We'll he is usually a man of few words. Unless it's about something he's really passionate about. For example, he loves and knows everything there is to know about cats," Yuki said.

"Honey, that's a given. Give us the juicy tidbits please," Mai said impatiently.

"Well, his favorite anime is also my favorite anime. We both love Urusei Yatsura! His favorite character is Lum! She's just so cute and awesome!" Yuki said while holding both of her cheeks.

"Hmm…interesting," Hinako commented.

"Something about that is notable?" Kasumi asked.

"I'll tell you later," Hinako said while thinking.

"He loves music more than anything, and he specializes in smooth jazz. We'll any sort of jazz but jazz is his favorite!" Yuki hummed.

"There we go, now you two have something in common!" Mai said excitedly.

Athena nodded, somehow feeling something strange the more she listened.

"WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING ME?" Yuri cried into her hands.

"He plays a LOT of instruments, and mixes and composes his own music. His influences are the usual jazz giants. And surprisingly enough, White Snake," Yuki said.

"That was predictable," Kasumi commented.

"Also, his favorite food is meat. He loves all meat, not a picky eater at all. He can't get enough of the barbeque ribs I grill for him!" Yuki mentioned.

"WWWWHHHHAAAATTT!" everyone, even Athena yelled in unison.

"You cooked for him!?" Mai yelled.

"Well, the way to a man's heart is usually through his stomach," Kasumi said.

"A very tried and tested strategy," Hinako mused.

"Does he really enjoy your cooking that much?" Athena asked, holding the kitten closer to her.

"I would say so. He stuffs himself so full that he gets sleepy and crashes on the couch. It's so funny. He's like a fat cat," Yuki mused.

"Well, then that settles it. Athena, text him right now. And set up that date already!" Mai exclaimed.


	4. Date by Proxy

Mai's proclamation made the entire table excited, except for a very flustered Athena. Yuki was still confused as to what was going on.

"Wait, it's not like that at all. It's not a date! It isn't at all. He's just helping me raise Popple here," Athena pouted while holding the munchkin in her arms.

"Popple?" Yuki blinked a few times, staring at the bumbling kitten.

"Friend Athena, I dislike that name with great intensity," Kasumi scowled at the kitten.

"Yeah, Popple. Not a fan of it either," Hinako shook her head in disagreement.

"Ok wait, hold on. Popple? It's… not so bad. It's cute, in a sort of, ugly way,'" Mai faltered, attempting to lie.

"I think it's sooooo adorable!" Yuri smiled.

"Now I hate it," Mai shook her head in disgust.

"OH, COME ON. THAT WAS ON PURPOSE!" Yuri cried into her arms again. She just could not win today.

"Don't hurt Popple's feelings. You'll make him sad," Athena said, nuzzling the top of Popple's head.

"Friend Athena. Perhaps this situation is in your favor. In helping you raise this kitten, Iori will reveal is fatherly nature. This will allow you to gauge whether or not he will be a good father for your future children," Kasumi pondered.

Athena felt as if she was going to faint, her face was as red as her clothes.

"Exactly what I was thinking. Yuki, he helped you raise a kitten. Is he father material?" Mai asked.

"I say he passed that test with flying colors," Yuki said happily.

"Alright, so he passed a test run. What are you waiting for Athena, go for it girl!" Hinako cheered.

"MY DAD NEVER HUGS ME!" Yuri sobbed into her arms, her face smothering against the table.

"NO, NO, NO! This is not what you guys think. We are just…" Athena was cut off by Hinako.

"Practicing a temporary marriage, complete with a baby," Hinako said bluntly.

"All right, enough. All this talk about stupid names and marriage theory is tiring. Enough theory. Let's put it into practice," Mai said as she took Athena's phone.

"Wait, what are you doing with that!?" Athena cried out.

"Something you need to be doing but are too shy to do. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find good husband material these days!?" Mai pulled up Iori's contact info on Athena's phone and wondered how to initiate a conversation.

"It seems that Friend Mai is very invested in predicament," Kasumi mused aloud.

"She's getting into it because she's trying to live vicariously through Athena. Andy isn't exactly stellar husband material, if anyone here hasn't noticed," Hinako spat.

"Which reminds me, I'm surprised that Kasumi isn't actively trying to murder Yuri right now considering the bad blood between them," Yuki was surprised at Kasumi's lack of vengeance.

"I will not lay hand on Friend Yuri. Her life is miserable enough. Would you lift a finger if your target was destroying themselves for you?" Kasumi smiled, that unnerving cheerful smile she had when she was relishing in someone else's misery.

".Remind me never to get on your bad side," Yuki said.

"Ok. I got it. I know exactly what to say to Iori. Leave it to me, I'm an expert when it comes to matters of the heart," Mai beamed as she began to text fervently.

"Uh huh. I'll let you believe whatever makes you happy," Hinako pitied Mai.

"What are you texting him!?" Athena was frantic. Her heart was racing.

"Just a little something to get the ball rolling. And there! Done! Yuki, do the honors and read it aloud please." Mai was proud of herself.

Yuki took the phone and read the text aloud. "Iori, please don't forget to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home. Popple needs his milk and I ran out. Please. Oh, there are a lot of heart emojis as well," Yuki commented.

"WAAHHH! IORI DOESN'T LIVE WITH ME!" Athena's heart was pumping so fast, sending adrenaline through her veins. Her kitten could feel Athena's heart about to break out of her ribcage.

Athena then saw Yuki's fingers moving rapidly along the virtual keyboard. "YUKI, WHY?" Athena asked.

"Okay, done! Hinako, here. Read aloud, then pass it after you message him," Yuki said. She passed the phone to Hinako.

"Come home quickly, your dinner is going to get cold. These ribs aren't going to eat themselves! There's a lot of heart emojis and sad faces," Hinako snickered.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK!" Athena was on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry, Athena. I can teach you. You're going to have to start learning how to cook for the man in your life! What if he likes another woman's cooking? Can't have someone else snatch him away now right?" Yuki teased Athena.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ON MY SIDE!" Athena cried.

"We are completely on your side. One hundred and ten percent on your side. And, done!" Hinako finished sending the text and passed it to Kasumi.

Kasumi took the phone and read aloud. "And I swear I'll be so mad if you forget the kitty litter! There's a lot of angry face emojis," Kasumi said. Everyone was surprised at how surprisingly innocent it was.

"Ok, that's not so bad," Athena breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"My turn. Iori, Pick up some mochi from the store. I like strawberry flavor. Adding food emojis as I speak," Kasumi said nonchalantly.

"I like mochi! How did you know my favorite flavor!?" Athena smiled now.

"I don't know you only eat your own weight in it every day." Hinako mused.

"Well that's everyone, let's see what he responds with." Mai said eagerly.

"WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING ME STILL?" Yuri was crying.

"HE'S HASN'T RESPONDED YET?" And just like that, Athena was panicking again.

"Wow, look at that. He responded." Mai was surprised at how quickly Iori responded.

Athena tore the phone from Mai's hand. Her hand was shaking as she brought it up to her face to read the text.

It read, "Ok."

Athena almost screamed. Her attempt at screaming was cut off by Mai.

"WHAT DID HE SAY!?" Mai shouted

"Spill the beans already," Hinako groaned in impatience.

"HE JUST SAID OK!" Athena screamed.

"OK TO WHAT? THE DINNER? THE MOCHI? THE FOOD? TO WHAT?" Mai's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"JUST OK. THAT'S IT. ONE WORD. OK!" Athena was on the verge of crying again.

"It seems that he is entirely ok with this. Perhaps it is in your best interest Friend Athena, to go home right now and prepare for his arrival," Kasumi instructed.

"WAAAHHHH!" Athena put her phone in her pocket ran all the way home while clutching her kitten for dear life.

"WAIT HOLD ON. YOU CAN'T COOK!" Yuki yelled and chased after Athena.

Yuki and Athena left the group of women there at the bar. They were disappointed that the drama was not going to be in sight for a while. Yuri was disappointed at never being relevant in general. It was then that Kasumi remembered something.

"Friend Hinako, what was it that you noted earlier? You expressed an interest in Iori's preference for the character Lum," Kasumi asked.

"The reason why I took note of it was because it told us something. He likes Lum. If anything, that gives us a clue onto what type of girls Iori might be into. How the character preferences translate to actual dating preferences," Hinako explained.

"I had a feeling that's what it was. I'm not familiar with Lum. What type of character is she?" Mai asked.

"Lum is a very energetic girl. Not unlike the Genki Girl stereotype, and yet not completely fitting into that trope. Lum is prone to mood swings, and has a very temperamental disposition. She can be incredibly doting at times, and just as quickly as she gives kisses she can dish out a healthy serving of violence. She always has her love's best interests in mind. However, her own goofy nature gets in the way. This results in many misunderstandings between her intentions and execution of those intentions. She is somewhat naïve, and believes in idealisms to the point of childlike innocence. That is not to say that she is stupid. In fact, she is very intelligent in her own right. Her most defining trait is her resolve in spite of the odds stacked against her. That, and she can't cook," Kasumi explained.

Mai and Hinako blinked a few times. Mai was the first to recover from her surprise.

"So in short, Athena Asamiya?" Mai asked honestly.

"Are you sure you described Lum? Then again, I never watched that anime to begin with." Hinako was amazed at how closely Athena matched Lum.

"Just like Friend Yuki, I'm also a secret otaku. There is nothing about manga and anime that I do not know!" Kasumi was smiling as she said this.

"OK THEN? WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT ONE SAMURAI WITH A KIMONO WITH ANCHORS ON IT THAT HAS TO FIND ALL HIS MISSING BODY PARTS BECAUSE HE GOT CURSED AND HIS BODY PARTS GOT TURNED INTO DEMONS AND HE HAS A LITTLE KID FOLLOWING HIM WHO LIKES TO STREET FIGHT!?" Yuri was confident that she was going to be in the conversation now.

She had thrown together the most random thing she could think of. Finally, she was going to get in the final word and make someone else feel bad for a change. Her dreams were cut short as Kasumi answered the question quite easily.

"Hyakkimaru, from Dororo to Hyakkimaru," Kasumi answered Yuri's question as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Yuri put her head down in defeat and began to sob obnoxiously into her hands.

"Dio Brando's battle cry from the Jojo's series," Kasumi said happily.

Mai and Hinako stared at Yuri. They began to wonder why the kept inviting her to hang out with them since she always ended up breaking down and crying.


	5. Frantic Preparation

Athena made it home faster than she imagined. She quickly put Popple on the couch and raced around her living room. She was rearranging the cushions alongside her couches. Everything in that moment looked imperfect. Even the freshly cleaned furniture seemed disgraceful in her panic.

"THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO DO!" Athena cried to herself.

Yuki waltzed through the open door to see Athena rocketing through the rooms, practically a tornado in her eyes. Yuki was amazed at how quick Athena was. In fact, it seemed that Athena was accelerating. Athena flew past Yuki, and left Yuki spinning in the middle of the living room. Yuki steadied herself, already seeing stars from behind spun like a top.

"Hey, Athena! Calm down please!" Yuki called out.

Athena cried out while spraying everything with Lysol. "WHY SHOULD I BE CALM? IORI IS COMING OVER MY HOUSE!" The smell of lemon was flooding the room.

"You're just panicking without a plan to begin with. Can I help you?" Yuki said nervously. She coughed, the lemon smell was just so sweet it was sickening at this point.

"Oh, ok! How exactly do you plan on helping me?" Athena stopped in her tracks, her white apron caught up with her.

"Well, for starters you are trying to do everything at once. In attempting to make everything perfect, you are just forgetting the important details," Yuki explained.

"Do you think he likes these pink curtains, or should I replace them with the magenta ones instead?" Athena wondered aloud, holding the edge of the curtain up for Yuki to see.

Yuki giggled and smiled at Athena. "You see, that's what I mean. You are so flustered that you are really panicking over the small stuff." Yuki thought that Athena looked adorable right now.

"WHO'S PANICKING? I'M NOT PANICKING? ARE YOU PANICKING? I'M NOT PANICKING!" Athena shrieked as she tore down the curtains to replace them with a magenta alternate.

Yuki blinked a few times. "Right. Anyways. How about this for a plan: why don't you go and change into something comfortable. Preferably a cute outfit. Really, since this situation doesn't really resemble a traditional date you shouldn't be going for a very romantic atmosphere. It's your home, Athena, so try and feel comfortable." Yuki wondered what Athena considered casual attire. It was hard to tell since Athena was very fashionable. Then again, so was Iori.

"I like that idea. What do you think Iori would like to see me in? Something red? Something green? How about I go for the shy girl look?" Athena fired her suggestions one after another.

"We'll, it's not a date. Despite what the other girls had you believe, this is not officially a date. So don't treat it like one. Just dress comfortably. If you dress so nice, it will just end up making the both of you feeling awkward." Yuki imagined Iori coming over in a white tuxedo, and Athena being dressed in a little black dress. This was definitely not appropriate attire for taking care of a kitten.

"Well, ok then. I guess I'll just wear what I usually wear. But is there anything else I should prepare for? I don't know, I never had a man over my house… I'M GETTING DRESSED FOR ANOTHER MAN WAAAAAAH!" Athena shrieked, holding her red cheeks with both hands.

"Take it easy. It's fine. Go upstairs and get dressed. Let me handle the cooking for you. I'll just modify the recipe so that we he won't suspect a thing when he eats it. I promise I'll put a different spin on the dish I usually make for him. It'll fit your personality well." Yuki wondered how she was going to pull it off to begin with.

"Wait, isn't that lying? I don't like lying. It's not nice!" Athena pouted, crossing her arms against her chest.

Yuki giggled again. "What he won't know won't hurt him I'm sure. Let's just say, that this I'm helping you take every advantage you can get. After all, a first impression is a pretty good way to go right?!" Yuki was excited now. She could imagine Athena and Iori eating together.

"Ok. But I still don't feel good lying to him. It just doesn't feel right at all. I'll go change now." Athena dropped her cleaning supplies and ran upstairs to go get changed.

Yuki chucked the supplies into a random closet. She took Popple and set him gently on cushion in the kitchen. Yuki looked around the kitchen and was thoroughly impressed. It was a kitchen with an ultramodern design. It looked spotless, as if no one had ever touched it to begin with. Wasting no time, Yuki opened Athena's fridge and looked around. She was concerned. There was nothing in the refrigerator, save for a few packages of mochi. Yuki sighed, and yet she expected this somehow. She didn't give up hope. Yuki strode over to the pantry and threw open the doors. She was met with a barren sight. All the shelves were empty, except for a lone package of instant ramen noodles.

"Athena, why don't you have anything stocked?" Yuki yelled loud enough so that Athena would hear her from upstairs.

Athena was flinging various outfits out of her closet. She was being indecisive and the pressure of the situation was not helping her nerves at all.

"I don't cook, remember!? I always eat outside!" Athena yelled back.

"There's not even basic stuff you should have to begin with! How am I supposed to cook with no ingredients!?" Yuki sighed, this was going to be harder than she thought. She couldn't just make food appear out of nowhere. "Athena, I'm going to the convenience store ok! Don't do anything rash! I'll be back very soon." Yuki took Popple with her and ran out of Athena's house. She had a mission, and there was no time to lose. Athena was counting on her and she was not going to disappoint her.

"Ok, this should do! I look absolutely amazing!" Athena had found an outfit that she liked. It was just perfect. It wasn't too formal, and yet it was casual enough to wear at home. She looked at herself in the closet mirror and twirled around. Her hair flew around her elegantly. She was gorgeous without even trying. Athena looked around her and realized that in her fervor, she had caused quite a mess. She occupied herself by placing everything back in order.

While Athena had been reorganizing her closet, Yuki came back with various bags of groceries. Athena came downstairs to see Yuki busy in the kitchen. Yuki looked like a professional, as if she was born to be a chef.

"You didn't have to go out and buy groceries you know. We could have just ordered food!" Athena was touched by Yuki's gesture.

"You aren't a frat boy. This occasion calls for something better than just a pizza. It's his first time in your house. You want his first visit to be something to remember. Wouldn't you like to be in his memories?" Yuki said while she was cooking.

Athena was about to faint. The thought of Iori thinking about her was enough to almost send her into cloud nine. Athena looked around trying to distract herself of these thoughts. It was then that she noticed something.

"Yuki, where did Popple go?" Athena was sure that she left Popple on the couch. He wasn't there, or anywhere to begin with.

Yuki went wide eyed and screamed. "OH MY GOD, I SCREWED UP. ATHENA, HERE. TAKE OVER THE COOKING FOR NOW! I LEFT HIM AT THE STORE. I'LL GET HIM BACK JUST STAY HERE!" Yuki ran out of the house without any further explanation.

Athena began to get frantic again. She didn't know how to cook at all. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found a rack of ribs baking in an oven. The timer still had a while to go. All she had to do was wait patiently for Yuki to get back.


	6. Unexpected Detour

Yuki ran as fast as her legs would allow her. She regretted not taking up running as a hobby, the training would have been a boon for this type of situation. She made it to the convenience store in record time. The automatic doors slid open. Shingo was manning the counter. He was in the middle of wiping down the register area when he noticed Yuki run through the automatic doors. Shingo smiled at her. He was also confused as to why she just came back when she had been there not more than a few minutes ago.

"Hey there. Did you forget something?" he asked her, flashing that characteristic smile of his.

Yuki looked around. She ran through the aisles. She rummaged through the refrigerated shelves. She even checked in some boxes. Wherever she checked, she just could not find Popple. Shingo noticed that Yuki was searching for something as if her life depended on it.

"Hey Yuki, where you looking for this little guy?" Shingo asked, putting the kitten onto the counter he had just wiped down. In her haste to get home, Yuki had forgotten Popple on the counter. Shingo knew she would be back looking for him and placed him in a box behind under the counter. It wasn't a hassle to begin with. The kitten was so small he was barely noticeable at times. Yuki saw Popple on the counter and felt as if her heart would explode. A huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She strode over to the counter and picked Popple up in her arms. Its small eyes twinkled in wonder. He was safe. Thankfully, he was safe.

"Thank you so much! I was so worried about this little guy. I hope you aren't mad at me! Are you mad at me?" Yuki pouted at Popple, hoping to be forgiven. Popple meowed at her. She was forgiven.

"Two packs of Sobranie." The sudden voice sent a chill down Yuki's spine. She knew that voice very well. A deep, smooth, confident voice.

Yuki squeaked and quickly stuffed Popple into her shirt. She slowly turned around to see Iori taking two ear buds out of his ears. He had been listening to music and had not been paying attention to their conversation. He was holding a few things in a basket himself. Packets of mochi, a gallon of milk, and even some kitty litter. Her hazel eyes locked onto his crimson eyes. She could see only one of his eyes, since the other was obscured by his bangs.

She stood there awkwardly staring at his face. It hit her then, that he taken Athena's text so seriously. The proof was standing before her. Yuki steeled herself enough to finally talk to him.

"Oh, hey there. What brings you here anyway? Here, in this store. This exact store we are both in, right now," Yuki bumbled over her words.

Iori nodded and never thought anything of her nervousness. He began to wonder if all women were like this, talking about little things.

"Groceries," his one word answer left Yuki both relieved, and yet heightened the tension between them.

"Oh, ok. You know, got to stock up on stuff while sales are on. I didn't know you were into couponing." Yuki gulped. It was an awkward, but effective conversation starter.

"I don't have any coupons," Iori's eyes were always so serious that Yuki felt that he was staring right into her very soul.

"Oh, silly me. That was so silly of me to ask. Here, I'll pay for you. Don't worry about it. Consider this an extension of my thanks from when you saved me from being kidnapped … again." Yuki pulled out her wallet from her pocket while keeping one arm crossed on her chest. She wanted to make sure that Popple did not move an inch, yet was careful enough not to squeeze him too hard.

Shingo caught on quick to what was happening and opted to keep his mouth shut. He knew better than to get involved in any further shenanigans. Every time he got involved in anything, he always got the short end of the stick. Part of him liked the thrill of adventure. And yet, part of him yearned for something else. These thoughts played around his mind as he grabbed the two packets of cigarettes that Iori requested. Shingo placed them on the counter.

"Fine," Iori said as he walked beside Yuki and placed his items on the counter.

Shingo scanned the items and Yuki paid without paying attention to the price. She just handed Shingo a wad of cash. Yuki was much too nervous to do anything other than wonder about Iori. He was always keeping to himself, and yet here she was paying for his things. He had saved her before. Twice from being kidnapped. She never told Kyo about it. She kept quiet about them talking with each other from time to time. While they had been speaking together, Yuki had realized that she never actually knew anything about Iori. He was always surrounded by mystery. Besides learning about his basic likes and dislikes, Yuki felt as if she had only begun to scratch the surface with him.

Yuki took her change and put it into her pocket. Her thoughts did not allow her to focus.

"Iori, where are you going exactly?" Yuki finally managed to ask him.

"Athena's place." He was already about to leave her there at the counter when Yuki almost threw herself between him and the exit. Iori looked down to her eyes and wondered why she was so frantic.

"HEY! I mean, hey. Why don't you take a stroll through the park for a bit? It's a nice day out. I'm very sure that it would be a nice thing to do." Yuki hoped that just this once, he would actually listen to her.

"I already walked this morning," Iori's answer left her a little caught off guard. Yuki was quick on the trigger.

"Well then, you know, why don't you just take a stroll anyway? Athena probably needs some time to get ready ok? Why don't you swing by her place in about twenty minutes? I have a feeling that the extra time would be good for her. It's a girl thing Iori, you wouldn't understand." Yuki was left smiling sheepishly at him.

Iori walked past her, and took a right away from the store to the park. Yuki smiled, he had finally listened to her. Just at the right time too. She counted her blessings as she ran back to Athena's house.


	7. A Walk in the Park

Iori found himself in the very same park that he took a stroll in during the morning. It was still a bit empty since it was as weekday. This was a good thing. Iori did not like to talk to people he disliked. He sat down on a bench and took out one of the cigarette packets from the grocery bag. He opened it up and lit one up with his finger. Sobranie was his favorite brand, next to any imported tobacco products he could get his hands on. He hated chewing tobacco after trying it just once. It made him feel like a hillbilly. Rolling his own cigarettes just took too much time to do and was more of a hassle than it was worth.

Sometimes, he would smoke the menthol flavored ones. They tasted best right after eating, almost like an after dinner mint. Other times, he would smoke unfiltered cigarettes if he was feeling antsy or bored. Yuki hated when he smoked and tried to actually argue with him over it. He was careful not to smoke around people since it would always lead to some trouble one way or another. He took a long drag from his cigarette and let the taste pool into his mouth. He exhaled, smoke came from his mouth as a fine white substance. Smoking alone was something he enjoyed very much. He hated hearing so much about the dangers of smoking. It bothered him. People would preach over and over again about its dangers.

Then again not many people were Iori Yagami. Being cursed by Orochi was something that came with its fair share of troubles. Orochi screaming in his thoughts from time to time was one of them, but it was tolerable. However, the curse also made him immune to a variety of toxins. He could smoke as much as he wanted to without any ill effects. Iori liked to enjoy his cigarettes. He made sure to savor each and every one. When he was angry, he tended to chain smoke multiple packs.

It was in the middle of smoking his tenth cigarette that a voice came to haunt his thoughts.

"Is there any reason why you smoke the exact same thing over and over again? I'm getting tired of you having preferences," Orochi whined.

Iori just nodded and continued smoking as if nothing was wrong at all. "I like this brand," Iori answered. Despite their relationship, Orochi and Iori were prone to random bits of small talk.

"It's boring. I only ever get Marlboro down here in hell. You have any idea how hard it is to get other brands down here? Marlboro has a monopoly!" Orochi whined again. In his kingdom of hell, he could only ever get Marlboro brand cigarettes. If he wanted another brand, then he had to bum a few off the unfortunate souls that entered his kingdom. In return for the imports, he would give the soul a small reprieve from their suffering. A very small reprieve, but it was a boon in the unmerciful realm of hell.

"They have cigarettes in hell?" Iori asked, somewhat surprised.

"Marlboro brand only. No cigars yet. I'm waiting to get the contract cleared. The only beer I can get down here is Heineken. I wanted Sapporo. Still waiting on licensing. And even still a packet of cigarettes or a case of beer cost me an arm and a leg. Do you have any idea how heavily things are taxed down here? It's criminal," Orochi was pouting, slouching on his bone throne.

Getting contracts down there was nothing but pure frustration. Only in the last decade did he finally get Stride gum. He was sorely disappointed at only one flavor being available.

"If you're the King of Hell, then why can't you just make stuff out of thin air?" Iori wondered why an all-powerful evil couldn't just abuse his powers as he saw fit.

"Things aren't what they used to be. I can't just do that these days. If I want to do anything then I have to meet with my lawyers." Orochi hated meeting with his lawyers.

More than anything else in his hellish world, lawyers were his greatest bane. Every meeting just dragged on and on. There was always just one more clause to sign, more fine print to read, more subcontracts to sign. If he wanted to do break the rules, then things just turned out worse for him. His actions would then be considered a breach of contract, which would then inevitably bring in more paperwork. Orochi had given up long ago on doing anything himself.

"So, it's like that these days?" Iori didn't feel bad about Orochi at all. If anything, Orochi's suffering gave him satisfaction.

"I miss the glory days of hell. Back then, I was in my prime. I could torture the souls of the world and underworld left and right. Humans worshipped me and brought me all kinds of offerings and sacrifices. I got the best luxuries that mankind could offer. Nowadays I'm lucky to even get a small bucket of chocolate. Would you believe how stupid humans have gotten these days?" Orochi sulked.

"Why is that?" Iori asked.

"The offerings just stopped for a few centuries. And then all of a sudden, I kept getting weird stuff. Like useless weird things. Like virgins. I have no use for virgins. And since they died getting sacrificed to me they are here in my realm, but they don't suffer. It gets crowded in limbo. And I swear if I get another goat I'll go insane." Orochi looked to his left, to the wicked desserts of hell. They were full of hordes of goats idling and farting. Their cries annoyed him to no end.

"Goats?" Iori blinked a few times.

"Some idiots rediscovered my existence and made a new cult worshipping me. They gave me a new name, called me something frilly. Named me after a fabric, satin I think. Then they proceeded to sacrifice countless goats to me. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THESE GOATS?!" Orochi slumped further on his bone throne. He looked down to see a goat looking at him from the base of his throne. It stared at him, chewing on a bone.

"Sounds like a problem," Iori said as he finished his first packet of cigarettes.

"Tell me about it. And then another cult sprang up that called me something even weirder. They claimed I lived in the bottom of the ocean and slept in the ancient city of, ..r..r…really…rhylai… I forget what it was called. They prayed to me and called me Kathulu. Then they sacrifice fish upon fish. It rains fish sometimes and honestly it makes it stink down here of rotting fish. I REALLY dislike fish. The goats don't seem to mind, so I guess that's that." Orochi wanted a cult to worship him, a cult that he actually liked.

"Do you always have problems?" Iori asked as he got up from the bench.

"Yes. Many. My worshippers are all stupid. My sacrifices are even dumber. I hate my job. I never get days off. That's why I made you and sent you up there to earth. Your job is to find the scrolls of fate and change it so that I can have my power again. When you change the scrolls, fate becomes unraveled. It is a power more potent that the powers of heaven and hells combined," Orochi explained.

"Scrolls? How do you change them?" Iori asked while walking down a path.

"Are you stupid? You just take out a pen and cross out some lines and rewrite new clauses. Think of it like a diary. It's not so hard. Whatever you write becomes reality. Do you understand where the saying of the pen being mightier than the sword comes from? That's where it came from, the scrolls of fate. Now quickly, go find them so I can drink and smoke all I want," Orochi pleaded to Iori.

"Whatever," Iori ignored him as he finally reached Athena's house.


	8. Food Fit for a God

Athena had finally finished setting the table up. Her dining room looked perfect for the occasion. It was not too fancy, and yet it seemed just right. From the white lace tablecloth to the blue ringed plates, everything was arranged carefully. Yuki was already setting up food in the center of the table when a sudden sound shocked them. They heard it, three distinct knocks of flesh against wood. It was an everyday sound. The type of sound that would normally make a person happy. In this circumstance, it only served to ignite their wildest emotions. Yuki was the first one to react.

"WHAT DO I DO?" Yuki mouthed to a panicking Athena.

Athena looked around her. Thankfully for her she was not limited on options. It only took a simple nod from Athena to communicate to Yuki what she wanted her to do. Yuki nodded back and ran upstairs to shut herself in Athena's bedroom. This was the perfect spot. Originally, Yuki thought to hide in the closet but that would have been too obvious. There was always a chance that something might go awry. Yuki plopped herself on Athena's bed and heaved a huge sigh of relief. If things went well then Athena and Iori's meeting would go without a hitch. If it went without a hitch, then Yuki would be that much richer as a result. She could already imagine the money in her wallet.

Athena placed the finishing touches on the dining room. She looked around three times to make sure nothing was out of place. Popple was even sleeping peacefully on a pillow on her couch. He was so small. His sleep unaware of the tension that was building up in Athena. Another set of three knocks made her sure that this wasn't a dream. That this situation was more real than she could imagine. Slowly, she made her way to the door. It was only a few steps away. Even so, it felt as if she was traveling leagues with every step she took. It was in the whirlwind of her thoughts that a voice called to her. A voice that was wholly familiar, and yet unfamiliar at the same time. It was strange. What should have surprised her, instead soothed her.

"Hey, there. Calm down. I wonder what he looks like. I'm sorry, was I interrupting you? I meant to catch a glimpse of him earlier through your eyes but I was napping." the voice yawned. The yawn echoed within the confines of Athena's mind.

Before Athena could respond, the voice began again.

"I am completely confident that this will go on without a hitch. All you have to do is be yourself, and the rest is history. It would benefit you to calm down now, it is ill fitting for a creation made in my image to be anything other than confident. Steady your mind, and be nothing but brave." This voice was raising her spirits with every step to the door she took.

"Forgive me for being so rude. My name is Athena. The goddess of course. Now be a darling and please open the door already so that I may gaze on the face of this so called emissary of destruction." Athena obeyed the voice of the goddess.

With a firm hand, she opened the door. She was greeted with a sight that she had hoped for. Crimson. Crimson eyes locking onto purple ones. That connection between souls. A connection that was fated to happen.

"My, my! He's quite the looker if I do say so myself. Not as good looking as me, but certainly not left wanting. You are so lucky, you know. It's not every day that things fall into your favor!"

From her perch in the heavens above, the Goddess Athena was squealing with joy. They were now meeting in private, and through Athena's eyes she had front row seats to the entire ordeal.

They stood there staring at each other for what seems for an eternity. It was Iori who was the first to break the standoff.

"I got the stuff," Iori said, raising the bag to Athena's eye level.

Athena felt her head nod for her, along as the smile that appeared on her face.

"Thank you!" Two words was all she could manage. She wanted to say more, to let him know that she was grateful.

She stepped aside to let him in. The tails of his red jacket brushed past her as he entered her house. Athena shut the door and trailed behind him.

"Just place the bags on the kitchen table. Popple is sleeping right now so he'll dreaming for a while." Athena took the bags from Iori's hands and placed them on her kitchen table.

While she was sorting out the groceries, Iori had already found Popple. Popple was curled up into a ball, resting peacefully on a soft cushion. Athena finished sorting the groceries to find Iori gently wrapping up the small kitten in a tiny blanket. Its small head stuck out of the cotton wrapping that it was swaddled it. It looked like a snowball on top of that cushion. Athena could not help but smile. She found it too cute for words.

"For kittens of his species, you need to make sure that his temperature is regulated. Being so small, he loses body heat very easily. Cold is a problem even when they reach adulthood as well. In the future take extra precaution," Iori instructed.

"Oh, really? I had no idea. I'm still new at this kitty business. I'll be sure to learn as best as I can so Popple can grow up comfortably!" Athena was beaming that beautiful smile of hers as she said this.

Iori caught himself looking at her. A voice popped into his head.

"Hey who the hell is that? I came here for the Munchkin but I guess I'm staying for this. Who the hell is she? She looks familiar. I've seen her face before but I just can't place it!" Orochi was viewing through Iori's eyes. He tried to think of who she might of resembled but nothing came to mind.

"Never mind. I'll look at my Facebook feed. Carry on." With that, Orochi disappeared from his thoughts, leaving Iori to his own devices.

Athena noticed that Iori kept staring at her. She was hiding a blush very well this time.

"Ok, as much as I like looking at him, can you please move this along now? You two are getting awkward now," Goddess Athena urged her.

Athena took her advice wordlessly and asked Iori, "Are you hungry?" It was a simple enough question.

"Yes," Iori answered.

Iori was finally aware of the smell of something delicious wafting through the room. It was so lethally intoxicating. The smell was beckoning him, seducing him into letting down his usually cold demeanor. His eyes shifted about, finally noticing the food on the dining table. A perfectly cooked and glazed set of ribs sat there. There was a lot of meat there. Racks upon racks stacked on top of each other. Athena could feel the hunger emanating from him. It was infectious, and it startled her. It was as if the smell of meat awakened something inside of him. Something not quite human. Something primal.

"Do you want to sit down with me and eat?" she said softly.

Athena sat herself down. Iori wasted no time in sitting himself directly across from her. He appeared akin to a predator ready to pounce on its prey. Luckily, he did not have to wait long.

"I'm waiting for you to dig in! Let me know what you think! I made it myself!" Athena lied, a smile covered up her white lie.

Iori did not want to appear base. He restrained himself as best as he could and served himself.

"It seems that the old saying still rings true even after countless centuries! The way to a man's heart is through his stomach!" Goddess Athena hummed to herself. Truth be told she wanted to eat those ribs herself but she was going to have to content herself with sipping ambrosia for now.

Athena herself awaited Iori's reaction. She had never tried Yuki's cooking before. If what she heard was true, then Yuki's cooking was something very special indeed. Athena wondered how Yuki could disguise the taste of her own cooking. Then again, if one was that skilled in their craft then forging their own technique was a very simple matter. Even so, Athena could not but feel nervous at the whole situation. Her legs were trembling under the table. She was glad that Iori couldn't see the lower half of her body through the wooden table.

It seemed to take forever. An entire eternity for the piece of meat to reach his mouth. And yet, for all her nervousness the actual action itself could not have been any more normal. She saw Iori take a bite out of the food. She could not wait for him to begin chewing before she asked him the question.

"How does it taste? I… I made it all by myself," Athena lied again. She could not stop feeling guilty about it. It was such a small lie. The goddess Athena comforted Athena with a few words.

"Fret not, my darling. All is fair in love and war." Goddess Athena recited to Athena.

Athena subconsciously nodded to the voice echoing inside her head. Iori finally replied.

"This is the best thing I have ever tasted." Iori's voice was still as serious as ever. His expression was blank. This was a stark contrast to what he had just said.

In reality, Iori wanted to riot and pounce onto the plate itself but he decided against it. If he rioted, then he would wake up Popple. Iori knew that kittens needed their sleep. A good sleep was key to raising a healthy kitten. Athena smiled at his response. She still felt a mote of sadness inside of her. No matter how she said it. No matter how she twisted the situation. The fact still remained the same. It was Yuki's cooking, not Athena's. Iori saw the sad look in her eyes and could help but be curious.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

Athena blinked those purple eyes of hers a few times.

"Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing at all." Athena forced a smile onto her face.

"Really? You aren't eating." Iori pointed to the empty plate in front of Athena.

"Oh, silly me. I was just waiting to ask your opinion on the cooking. I'm glad you like it. No really, I'm glad." Athena masked her inner turmoil and served herself some meat.

It only took one bite of the ribs for Athena's inner doubts to completely disappear. The flavor hit her taste buds like the lightning of Zeus. She understood now why Iori seemed so eager to eat. Any earlier misgivings she had were forgiven. Athena could not blame Iori in the slightest.

"Oh wow, this tastes amazing!" Athena exclaimed, forgetting that she had told Iori that she had made it.

"Wait, you didn't try your own cooking before you served it to me?" Iori asked, blinking a few times.

Athena spouted out the first thing in her head. "I just wanted your opinion and approval before I tried it myself!" Athena was glad that she was getting better at lying. It felt awkward to be getting better at something she really disliked.

"I approve immensely," Iori said as he continued eating, speaking with a full mouth.

Athena thought he looked adorable with sauce all over his mouth. At the same time he looked so intimidating. It was like watching a lion gorging itself on a fresh kill.

"Oh, honey, if you think his appetite is scary, wait till he gets hungry for you! A man's appetite for a woman is nothing compared to that of food," Goddess Athena mused while reclining in her hammock.

Athena herself blushed again. She did not know what the goddess meant but kept it in her thoughts.

"Iori, are you full?" she asked, noticing the pile of clean bones on his plate. There was a lot of bones, picked perfectly clean. His appetite would have made locusts seem tame by comparison.

"Yeah," he said as he reclined in his chair.

Athena noticed that his eyes were flickering and blinking. Before she could say anything else Iori was fast asleep, snoring loudly in the middle of her Dining room.

"Yuki wasn't lying. He really does sleep when he's full," Athena mused to herself.

"And just like that, the lion sleeps tonight," Goddess Athena hummed to herself.


	9. Climbing the Summit

Athena found herself at a loss for what to do. Iori was fast asleep in front of her. She snapped her fingers a few times to wake him up but it was of no use. Iori was in dreamland and it seemed that he was not going to be waking up anytime soon. He still had sauce on his mouth. Yuki heard Iori's snoring from upstairs and made her way downstairs. Yuki expected this to happen and was not surprised at all. She giggled as she saw Iori knocked out.

"Asleep like always. Some things never change. He even has sauce on his mouth!" Yuki giggled while wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Athena was a little more relaxed now. Iori was asleep, and seeing as how Yuki was interacting with him it meant that Iori was a heavy sleeper. Athena sighed in relief.

"So, what do I do now?" Athena asked while cleaning up the dining room.

"Well, the dining room is no place for a nap. The couch is taken by Popple it seems. Why not just chuck him onto your bed and call it a day?" Yuki suggested innocently enough. Her suggestion had Athena's interests at heart, but she was also furthering her own agenda.

"MY BED? WHY MY BED?" Athena almost screamed.

"I don't think he'll mind. I think he'll like waking up next to you," Yuki teased.

Athena held both of cheeks with her hands. Her temperature was skyrocketing. "HE'S GOING TO SLEEP NEXT TO ME?" Athena was screaming now.

"Well, what is he going to cuddle? He wouldn't be happy with just a regular pillow. I'm sure he's going to hug you nice and tight while he sleeps," Yuki winked at Athena.

Athena was about to scream again but Yuki silenced her by placing a hand over her mouth.

"No more screaming, please. You'll wake Popple. Now, please help me lift up Iori so we can drag him upstairs to your bed." Yuki put one of Iori's arms around her shoulder and motioned Athena over to do the same.

Athena was much too nervous to protest and followed suit. She threw Iori's other around her neck and waited for Yuki's instructions.

"Ok, on the count of three we lift him up. One, two, three!" Yuki counted.

Yuki and Athena attempted to lift him up, both were grunting and groaning with effort. They strained their legs and back, but it was of no use.

"HOW MUCH DOES HE WEIGH!?" Yuki exclaimed, rubbing her back.

"How am I supposed to know that?" Athena asked.

"Aren't martial artists supposed to be skilled at sizing up their opponents?" Yuki asked.

"I'm pretty sure that's something wrestlers and grappling based martial arts teach," Athena mused aloud.

"If you know that then why don't you know how to do just that?" Yuki sighed.

Athena shrugged her shoulders and smiled sheepishly. "I'm not a wrestler," Athena answered innocently enough.

Yuki sighed again and came up with a new idea. "Ok, fine. How about this. If we can't lift him then let's drag him up the stairs." Yuki suggested,

"How are we going to do that?" Athena asked.

"You take one leg, I'll take the other. We'll drag him that way," Yuki said while grabbing onto one of his legs.

"Okay. Are you sure? I mean we could just leave him here," Athena said.

"Grab his leg and start dragging," Yuki commanded.

Athena grabbed his other leg and the two girls pulled as hard as they could. Iori plopped out chair and fell onto the floor limply. Athena winced at how hard Iori connected with the floor.

"What if we hurt him?" Athena asked.

"Oh he can take a beating. This is nothing for him trust me." Yuki said.

They dragged him to the base of the staircase. Yuki and Athena looked to the top of the stairs. It was such a simple thing to climb stairs. Even a child could do it. However due to their load, the top of the stairs seemed like the summit of Mount Everest to these girls. Yuki gulped and prepared for herself for the task that lay ahead.

"Ok, Athena. You have to work with me on this one. We cannot let up even for a moment. If we work together we just might be able to drag him upstairs, barely," Yuki said.

"I'm with you!" Athena rallied herself.

They both began dragging him up the stairs. It was very difficult. They had to plant their feet and steady themselves one step at a time. Iori's head bounced with every step that he was raised. They were halfway up the stairs before Athena cried out.

"Yuki, my arms are tired. I can't hold on any longer!" Athena's arms were shaking.

Yuki shot her a look. "AREN'T YOU A MARTIAL ARTIST? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN TOP PHYSICAL SHAPE?" Yuki yelled.

"I am! I still get tired though," Athena whined.

Yuki sighed and kept dragging him. They were just at the top when Athena's arms gave out without warning. Yuki suddenly felt all the weight on her arms and she had to let go or risk falling down herself. The two girls watched in horror as Iori's body ragdolled down the stairs. He fell head over heels, and plopped down at the base of the stairs. His snoring signaled that he was still sleeping, and seemed quite undisturbed by the entire ordeal. Yuki was the first to recover from her shock.

"You could have given me a fair warning," Yuki exclaimed.

"I did. I said my arms were tired," Athena said, rubbing her arms.

"I don't have any more strength in me." Yuki sat down at the top of the stairs and cradled her head in her hands.

Yuki looked up to see Iori was gone. She blinked a few times and looked around to see Iori sleeping on the floor behind her.

"H… how did he get up here?" Yuki yelled.

Athena was sitting next to her, looking at her Twitter feed. "I teleported him up here!" Athena said happily while liking posts of mochi.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT EARLIER? MY BACK ALMOST GAVE OUT!" Yuki yelled.

Athena looked at Yuki and said, "You didn't ask me to. You wanted me to drag him with you, remember?"

Yuki just stared at Athena. After a few moments, Yuki was able to respond, "Athena … Teleport him to your bed please." Yuki was at her wits end.

"Done," Athena said nonchalantly.

Yuki looked behind her to see that Iori was gone. She could hear Iori's snoring coming from Athena's bedroom. At that point Yuki would have given anything to have any sort of powers. Athena could do anything with ease due to her psycho powers. It honestly made Yuki a little jealous. However, Yuki was the one who could cook, so she counted her blessings.


End file.
